Real Emotions
by jm-oc-ja
Summary: Beca can't focus and Chloe catches her but when she asks the younger girl leaves. Chloe ends up finding out why Beca is upset from her laptop and an extra note that sets off a million new thoughts. Beca/Chloe


"Beca, babe I've read this page like ten times which means you should've read it like twenty by now, so what's going on in that head of yours?" Chloe asked her arms wrapped tightly around the smaller girl, they were reading Catcher in the Rye on Chloe's kindle. They did this exact thing a lot and had quickly fallen into the pattern where Beca could read twice as fast as Chloe so she would either reread the page or wait till Chloe nodded her consent to change the page. Chloe loved doing it, it proved how strong they were as a couple to not have to talk constantly and could just be around one another comfortably.

"Sorry, I'm just not all here today."

"Why not, what's going on?" Chloe asked and Beca pulled away from her.

"I… I need to just get some air ok? I'll be back in a little bit." Beca said, she turned and kissed Chloe before walking out of the dorm leaving a shocked Chloe on her bed. Completely shocked Chloe stands up and is about to leave back to her own apartment but decides against it right before she opens the door. Sighing she threw herself back onto the bed, looking up she saw Beca's laptop up. Chloe pulled it into her lap opening the internet to browse around. Beca's grades happened to be up, and Chloe understood immediately, Beca had failed her music theory class. Chloe remembered failing her frist class it crushed her, she had cried for a week unable to understand how it happened. She noticed a word document open and clicked on it.

_It's days like today that I really fucking miss you. I failed this class and I mean like I put everything I had into it just to pass and our grades posted I was waiting without breathing and damn it hit me like a… like when you died. I really wish you were here still because all I want is to be in your arms stealing drags from your cigarettes and sips from your drink. Guess life can't always be how it was. I really miss you, but I really love Chloe. I just, how can I tell her that I failed a class she is so smart and worked so hard with me to get me to pass this class. I wasn't really nervous about it either but god… I didn't just fail this class I got a D minus, I'm nearly failing to the point where I don't even get a grade point average thing. You would love her, Chloe, she's everything you liked in humans. _

Chloe heard the door open and looked over at Beca who is just standing there. The note said whoever she was talking to was dead, but who was it? And why would Beca have written this in the first place? Chloe doesn't know if she should be angry or start crying. This was big, and the thought that Beca was still in love with another girl was driving her insane. Could it be possible that she loved Beca more than Beca loved her?

"What… who is this to?"

"No one."

"Beca Mitchell please don't you fucking lie to me!" Chloe tried to stay calm but ended up screaming by the end. She grabbed her coat and pushed by Beca to leave.

"Chloe whoa wait." Beca grabbed Chloe around the waist pulling her close. "Babe, we were good friends and she died my senior year from cancer. She was special to me but not half as you are." Beca said nuzzling Chloe's neck as she spoke, but Chloe was stiff as a board.

"I don't believe you."

"I know you don't but you will." Beca sat them down on the bed kicking the door shut with her toe. "She taught me what it meant to be me, you have to know that I love you."

"If you loved me then why did you walk away earlier instead of telling me about your grade?" Chloe was crying and she hated herself for it, why couldn't she stay in control of her emotions for just one fight.

"Because you were so sure I was going to pass and you worked so hard with me every night to make sure I understood the material. Chloe I just didn't want to let you down. Chloe how can I fail a class that I'm supposed to be making a career out of, then come here and tell you?" Beca said she gently pulled Chloe's face till the girl was looking at her.

"You loved her."

"I did but it's not the same way I love you." Beca pulled Chloe down so they were lying on the bed facing each other. "I thought I was in love with her then I met you and god Chloe." Beca cupped the older girl's cheek. "I was blown away by you, completely blown away."

"You said you missed her."

"Chloe, she was like my Aubrey." Beca started to tear up and Chloe wiped them away. "She saved me from a downfall."

"Next time you take this class we'll try twice as hard, I'll help in whatever way I can." Chloe said kissing Beca. "How can I help tonight?"

"Sex, cigarettes and chocolate." Beca said before thinking, she looked up at Chloe. "Well the first two I guess are a bad habit to fall into and the last is just too self pitying."

"Well I can help with the first and I don't think it's a bad habit." Chloe grinned as she kissed Beca and rolled onto her. Straddling the younger girl's hips she pulled back slightly from Beca's lips. "By the way, one day you'll have to tell me all about this mystery woman that has such an important part of your life." Chloe said running her hands up under Beca's shirt.

"I promise, now please just kiss me." Beca whined as Chloe's hands cupped her breasts.

"Someone is a bit eager aren't they?"

"Please…" Chloe grinned and pulled her shirt over her head before kissing Beca soundly. Sure there was still lots left to talk about, but that could all wait till tomorrow. Chloe still remembers being crushed after failing her first class, she had cried for weeks, and all she wanted was to go out and get drunk, sleep with someone or eat herself into a coma. She's been there she knows how it feels, so for tonight she'll release Beca from that feeling because it is the worst feeling in the world that she knows of so far.

x-x-x

a/n: I've failed plenty of classes so I know how it feels but today I found out I failed a design class, like what I'm going to school for… and yeah that hurts ten times more. So to all those who are in college failing a class sucks and there's lots of ways to react, just pick yourself back up take it over and realize its just a small bump in the road. And yes as cliché as it is, chocolate, ice cream and a chick flick is the answer to feeling better, at least for me, yes I know it's like the typical break up package but its my typical failing pack, my break up packs if its actually bad is my best friend cant beat that. Ok I'll shut up.


End file.
